Fight the Good Fight
by lakota1954
Summary: A short one-shot on what's going through Coulson's head during the flight back from saving Audrey.


Fight the Good Fight

**A/N This is just a one-shot about Coulson's thoughts as he sits on the plane returning from saving Audrey.**

Coulson closed his eyes hoping that Fitz would think he was asleep. He needed to try to think past all the emotions he was feeling. He recalled in detail how it had felt to touch Audrey again. As he had done it, his mind filled with the sweet pain of past memories with her. He recalled her touch, her kisses, her sense of humor and how she always laughed at his corny jokes. It had all seemed so real. Like no time had passed between them, and he wanted to pull her into his arms and just hold on tight forever.

But, then he remembered the reality of who he was. He wondered if he could give that up for her. Maybe they could just run away together and start a new life. There were symphony orchestras all over the country. They could find one for her, and he would do whatever kept him off the law enforcement radar. Skye had wiped his record clean basically. Along with what had happened at the battle of New York, Phil Coulson was to all intents and purposes, dead. There really was nothing to stop him from being with Audrey and starting a new life. Hell, she had even talked about having a kid. He was tentative about making that commitment at his age, but still, it was possible since she was younger than him. He smiled at the thought of him being a father. His memories of his own father were dim since the man had died when he was so young, but Phil remembered sitting on his lap, listening to his stories of the Vietnam War. His dad had been a Marine and had many tales of bravery and commitment to tell his young son. Phil had listened intently, and when his Dad was killed in a car accident, those stories were what kept him going. He had always strove to be stoic and brave the way the men in his father's stories had been.

That was the choice in his mind right now. Follow in his father's footsteps in war or in peace. Become a hero for his country or his own child. He did admit to himself that he had already served his country well. He thought of the Purple Heart he kept in his office drawer. Wasn't that enough? But then he remembered a favorite Bible verse his father had quoted to him. "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." While Phil knew in his heart he had fought a good fight, he also knew that he had not finished his course. And if to do that he had to forego a simpler life with the woman he loved, then he knew he needed to continue on keeping the faith. Phil had never chosen to consider himself a hero, but he did draw a lot of self-respect from always striving to protect others. It was a quality that both frustrated and defined him. He realized that maybe Audrey had indeed found that to be one of the reasons she loved him, just as he had his reasons for loving her.

As he sat in the back of plane, he could really only come to one conclusion. He couldn't give up the fight until it was finished. That was just not who he was, and Audrey would never expect him to. He realized that she would wait for him, be there for him whenever he had the time, but that was not fair to her. It had been the right call to let her believe that he was still dead. That she thought that he somehow was looking over her was comforting to him, and he knew the emotional pain it was causing him would never end, but perhaps dull a little with time. For now, he had his work to do. He had to go on fighting the good fight with the people he trusted. He had to make things right with May, who he now realized had only been trying to protect him. He had to finish the course the best he could. He didn't have superpowers, but he had a clear resolve to do the right thing. He was sure that life on this earth, in all its forms, was precious. He would use force when he had to stop evil men, but he would not bend in his belief that every living thing deserved a second chance. It was who he was.


End file.
